Hey. I have anxiety. And that's pretty cool. It means I can spend a ton of my life fighting a raging battle inside my head while also dealing with the adult responsibilities that we all face. It makes me stronger than people that don't have it, honestly. I really doubt most people would deal with my thoughts as well as I do.
Anxiety isn't something to fear. Its not scary. Its not a hideous disease you'll never overcome. But it isn't easily pushed aside either. It's like... a wall that constantly appears before you, no matter what path you take. Some people's walls are made of brick and mortar. While other's walls are simply cardboard. Some walls have to be carefully climbed, while others simply fall to the ground after one simple touch.
Anxiety is like a safety mechanism your brain has skillfully and VERY EXCESSIVELY put time and effort in to create. Its the part of your brain that tells you when things are dangerous, when to be weary, and when to be scared. At every turn, most people's brains will quietly whisper,"Be careful now." But when you have anxiety, your brain SCREAMS LOUDLY about all the dangers you might face. If it sees that there will be no danger ahead, it MAKES UP danger for you to worry about. The funny thing about these made-up dangers is that they honestly are quite hilarious, if you look at it logically.
For example, whenever I go to the store, and am about to purchase a product, these are some examples of the thoughts that go through my brain.
"The cashier is going to judge you for buying that. They will be rude and make you feel bad for making such a poor choice."
"The cashier is going to make you put the product back because they don't want you to buy the thing you foolishly laid on the counter."
"The cashier will be frustrated with you because you're only buying one thing, instead of a bunch of things. They will escort you out of the store while everyone points and whispers at your stupidity."
As you can see, there is no imminent danger to buying one pair of socks at Walmart. But because your anxiety is keeping you safe from physical and emotional harm, it makes up all these scenarios so that you don't make a mistake and feel pain. Anxiety is a constant brain function, constantly reminding you about all the ways for you to feel horrible about yourself. Any words uttered out of your mouth could bring the downfall or the creation of a civilization. It's a heavy burden. It's an endless search for perfection. It's an abusive boyfriend. It's an OVER EXCESSIVE blessing.
Anxiety can be dealt with. There are ways you can carefully hold its hand to comfort it. You can tell it to back off. You can even forget about it. But chances are, it's going to be a constant companion. It's gonna be the voice that tells you that you "can't even" and that you're ugly. It's gonna be the voice that constantly tells you that your friends don't care about you. It's gonna make you feel deep. But once again. It doesn't mean that you can't function, just like everyone else. If anything, you're gonna be the person who comes out on top.
You're gonna be the strongest person alive if you have anxiety.
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